The List FAQ

We maintain a list of asexual spectrum and/or questioning people who have experienced sexual violence and are willing to speak to other asexual spectrum and/or questioning people who have experienced sexual violence. Below are some frequently asked questions.

How do I talk to someone on the list?

You can either email [email protected], or send a message through tumblr, and we’ll be happy to match you up with someone. Please be sure to specify if there’s a particular medium you’d like to be contacted through—tumblr, or forum private message. If you’d like to talk about a certain topic, please let us know, and Queenie can put you in contact with someone with similar experiences/identities.

Please note: you should receive a timely response, but occasionally there might be a glitch in our system and something might fall through the cracks, so just in case you don’t hear back soon, you can check to make sure we received your email via our backup/emergency email, asexualsurvivors [at] gmail.com.

I’d like to be added to the list.

Email [email protected] or send us a request through tumblr. (You can also email [email protected] if you also want to volunteer for something else and feel comfortable sharing your information with the rest of the team), and we will add you to the list. If there are specific experiences/identities you feel comfortable talking to other people about and/or if there’s a particular medium you’d like to be contacted through, please let us know.

Please note: you can volunteer for The List even if you don’t have a tumblr account, but we are still testing out our alternate method of communication, so things are not as well established off tumblr yet.

I’m on the list but I’d also like to talk to someone on the list.

That’s totally fine! Sometimes people doing the supporting need support too—no shame in that. Just send us a request.

I’m on the list but I don’t have the energy to deal with talking to people right now.

Your well-being comes first. Send us an ask or email and I’ll make sure to mark you as inactive for however long you need.

I’m on the list, but I haven’t gotten any referrals yet. What’s going on?

We try to match people up by shared intersections, experiences, or concerns, so sometimes it takes a little while for someone who’s a good match for you to come along. Don’t worry!

Can I talk to someone on the list if I’m not sure whether I’m asexual or not?

Yes! We welcome questioning people.

Can I talk to someone on the list if I don’t identify as a survivor?

Yes! We have a couple of people on the list who don’t identify as survivors. If you have experienced sexual violence (regardless of whether you identify as a victim or a survivor or something else entirely) and you think it would be helpful, we would be happy to put you in contact with someone.

Who coordinates The List?

Queenie is solely responsible for it for now, but that may eventually change as it gets more demanding.