Friday Question: Small Comforts

The Friday Question: How it works

Every Friday we will pose a question for you all to discuss or privately consider. You can engage with it publicly here on the RFAS blog, or you can join our forum (details below) for a more private discussion. You can write it down to think about later, journal about it, or bring it in to a therapy session with you.

If you would like to volunteer to become a moderator and host future Questions, please email us at volunteer@asexualsurvivors.org—or join our forum and post in the moderator volunteer thread. If you just have an idea for a future Question that you want to share, we have a brainstorming topic on our forum.

Something to Ponder Today

Sometimes long-lasting happiness feels elusive, and our burdens feel too great. It can be easy to slip into hopelessness, so this week I want to focus on small, bite-sized bits of happier feelings. Even if the good feelings last only a little while, they can still be a very helpful tool for fighting off depression, fear, invasive thoughts, and all the other not-so-great leftovers of trauma. Seeing others share these moments can give us a little vicarious joy too, and help us learn to look for and really savor these moments in our own lives.

What things in the past week have brought you happiness, comfort, or a sense of safety?

• Try to name at least five things—but of course, if you can think of more, feel free!
• It can be helpful to write these down to look at later, when you need a little boost of happiness.
• These can be anything—some examples might be a cute animal you saw, an encounter with a friend, a tasty meal, a stuffed animal, a selfie during a moment of joy, solving a difficult problem, or just enjoying nature.

On the Forum

• You can discuss this question privately after registering at the forum
• Here are instructions for how to join the forum
• Here’s the invite request form
• You can also still discuss previous questions as well. There is no time limit for joining the discussion.

Please note that we are still working things out in the forum, including rules, guidelines, structures, and technical issues. We are gradually letting people in now who are not moderators or volunteers, but it can basically be considered “in beta” for now. So if you do join, please excuse our forum being a bit of a mess while we get everything tested. There may also be a little bit of a wait time for sending out invites.

Here are a couple of things you should know about posting to the forum:

• All posts are private, and can only be viewed by members
• It is against forum rules to discuss any personal stories shared on the forum with anyone who is not a member without permission of the person who shared it
• You can post as anonymous, once you are a member

The Spoiler Tag

You can hide especially triggering details behind a spoiler tag—which also works in blog comments. Here’s an example:

[spoiler title=’Triggering stuff’ collapse_link=’true’]Explicit/triggering material would go here.[/spoiler]

To make one, just type…

[ spoiler ] ... [ /spoiler ]

…without the spaces. I hope that this helps everyone safely navigate this conversation.