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Friday Question: Educating Providers

By | 2015-08-21T16:03:00-04:00 August 21st, 2015|Categories: Questions|Tags: |

Beyond the most basic asexuality 101 stuff, what is the one thing you most want medical, therapeutic, and other kinds of care and support providers to understand? - What are you worried won't be included in education efforts, or expanded upon enough to be fully understood? - What are your worries with regard to survivors being put in the spotlight by the wider ace community? What can you do to feel more safe during these discussions? - Do you have any suggestions to add to a list of additional reading materials to give out to providers? - What are some ways that you can educate your own providers that might feel safe(r) for you?

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Disingenuous, Shallow “Support”

By | 2018-04-10T00:17:57-04:00 August 20th, 2015|Categories: Domestic Violence, For Activists, For Supporters, Rape Culture|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Ah, yes. Facebook Activism. Because sharing something on Facebook for others to automatically click "like" without even reading is clearly the most effective way to promote real engagement with anti-violence work, and genuine support to survivors. The idea that a brand is all that's needed to get others to care, rather than something that is just there for others to adopt in order to look like they care, is so incredibly vile to me. Why? Because it's exactly the sort of thing that makes it easier for abusers to gaslight their victims.

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Violence Our Own Minds Play Out

By | 2018-04-09T02:55:14-04:00 August 18th, 2015|Categories: By & For Ace Survivors, Personal Narratives|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Sometimes we visit violence upon ourselves, not just by intentionally harming ourselves or putting ourselves in dangerous situations, but by perverting things we enjoy or letting our mind run away with our feelings. It’s important to recognize the violence our own mind is playing out and address it, or else our mind wanders away.

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Friday Question: Mistakes and Flaws

By | 2015-08-13T20:02:27-04:00 August 14th, 2015|Categories: Questions|Tags: , , , , , , |

We all make mistakes, but due to the abuse many of us have suffered, we may tend to be overly harsh with ourselves when we do. We may feel that we are just "a bad person who deserves bad things," or dwell on times when we may have hurt someone even more than the person who we may have hurt does. How do you deal with your mistakes or flaws? - How do you feel when you realize you've made a mistake? - How do you feel when you think about a part of yourself that you'd consider a flaw? - Do you feel like your self-perception is really distorted by your trauma? - Are there any actions you can take that you have found can help you interrupt the cycle of self-blame or self-hatred? - What are some affirmations or validating words that you can use as a mantra to help you get through times when you feel really bad about your mistakes/flaws?

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An Ace Survivor’s Manifesto

By | 2018-04-09T02:40:20-04:00 August 13th, 2015|Categories: By & For Ace Survivors, Coping Strategies, Intersectional Issues, Self Care|Tags: , , , , , |

I am allowed to occupy space in the universe, regardless of how “difficult” or “complicated” or “messy” I may be. I am allowed to identify as a survivor or a victim or something else entirely. I am allowed to identify as asexual, even if I don’t know whether past experiences “caused” or “contributed to” my asexuality. I am allowed to use the words that work best for me. I am not required to defend my sexual orientation because of my status as a survivor. I am not required to defend my status as a survivor because of my sexual orientation.

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Friday Question: Toxic Communities

By | 2015-08-21T16:03:34-04:00 August 8th, 2015|Categories: Questions|Tags: , , |

How do you deal with a toxic atmosphere in your communities? - How does it affect you? Where do you feel it in your body? What emotions come up for you? - What sort of strategy to deal with it makes the most sense for you right now, in your current situation? Is it better for you to avoid the conflict right now, or tackle it head-on?

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Challenges faced by asexual spectrum survivors of sexual violence (part 3)

By | 2018-04-12T00:49:31-04:00 August 6th, 2015|Categories: Education, For Activists, For Professionals, For Supporters, Rape Culture|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

This series focuses on awful things people say to asexual spectrum survivors, sometimes out of spite, sometimes out of concern, and sometimes out of ignorance. Each section has a quote (or collection of related quotes) followed by a "translation" of the quote (or a distillation of the essence of the argument, if you will) and then commentary on why this is an awful thing to say.

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Privacy concerns about Windows 10

By | 2015-08-01T22:49:20-04:00 August 1st, 2015|Categories: Safety & Privacy|

If you are considering installing Windows 10, you may want to read this first, and wait. Windows 10's default settings collect more data about you than you may be comfortable with. Users are given the option to opt out of most of the data collection, but critics say that that [...]

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Challenges faced by asexual spectrum survivors of sexual violence (part 2)

By | 2018-04-12T00:50:24-04:00 July 30th, 2015|Categories: Education, For Activists, For Professionals, For Supporters|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

This series focuses on awful things people say to asexual spectrum survivors, sometimes out of spite, sometimes out of concern, and sometimes out of ignorance. Each section has a quote (or collection of related quotes) followed by a "translation" of the quote (or a distillation of the essence of the argument, if you will) and then commentary on why this is an awful thing to say.

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