rape

a revolution for the crooked souls.

By | 2018-04-10T00:31:44-04:00 November 12th, 2015|Categories: Intersectional Issues, Personal Narratives|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I’m a “bad” rape victim. A Model Rape Survivor doesn’t know her attacker. My rapist is essentially a stranger to me, but that night was not the first time I had met him. She is dressed modestly and cannot be held responsible due to those clothing choices. I wore one of my shortest dresses and no bra when I walked into his apartment. She’s virginal and chaste, only doing the appropriate sexual things with appropriate people. I considered myself a virgin at the time, though I’m sure other people might disagree, but I’d gone to his place to mess around in the first place.

Ace Survivors as Rhetorical Devices (part two): Using Ace Survivors to Win Political Arguments

By | 2018-04-10T01:39:45-04:00 October 15th, 2015|Categories: Education, For Activists, For Supporters|Tags: , , , , , , , |

Can you replace ace survivors in your arguments with an Oppressed Lamp—i.e. is your argument drawing on something specific about the experiences and feelings of ace survivors or is it using ace survivors as short-hand for “oppressed, beaten, helpless things you should pity”? If you’re using “ace survivors” to mean “super oppressed aces you should feel really bad for,” you’re probably using ace survivors as rhetorical devices.

Personal narrative from an anonymous author

By | 2018-04-10T00:26:39-04:00 September 15th, 2015|Categories: By & For Ace Survivors, Personal Narratives, Sharing|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

My experiences have caused me to lose faith in the idea that people will come to understand and acknowledge my sexuality without an explicit statement that I am asexual. Even this statement rarely generates understanding or compassion from friends; usually I am met with confusion, discomfort, or even silent denial in the form of attempting to steer the conversation elsewhere.

On Sexual Abuse, Repulsion, and Aversion in the Asexual Community

By | 2018-04-10T00:14:30-04:00 August 27th, 2015|Categories: Personal Narratives|Tags: , , , , |

I questioned for a long time whether or not I was sex repulsed or simply sex averse. A quick Google search will tell you that repulsion and aversion are synonyms, but our community hasn’t always used them in their dictionary defined sense. I think that we’ve differentiated these terms to help us better describe ourselves. In most contexts “aversion” has been used to mean “strong dislike” whereas “repulsion” implies physical reaction involving disgust. In theory, neither of these things actually involve sexual attraction (which we define sexual orientation on), they just happen to frequently accompany the asexual experience. Unfortunately sex aversion/repulsion also frequently accompanies the aftermath of sexual assault. This posed a dilemma for me: If I did feel sexual aversion, was it the result of my asexuality or sexual trauma?

Triggers Everywhere: Refocusing in College After Trauma

By | 2018-04-09T02:41:45-04:00 August 25th, 2015|Categories: By & For Ace Survivors, Personal Narratives|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

College can be hard even when nothing traumatic happens to you – especially in a physical therapy doctorate program – but navigating hallways where you could pass your rapist at any moment is hard on another level. And on a small campus, where he’s popular and you’re not? It can feel like all you can do is brace yourself. Forget support systems or telling anyone his name.

Challenges faced by asexual spectrum survivors of sexual violence (part 3)

By | 2018-04-12T00:49:31-04:00 August 6th, 2015|Categories: Education, For Activists, For Professionals, For Supporters, Rape Culture|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

This series focuses on awful things people say to asexual spectrum survivors, sometimes out of spite, sometimes out of concern, and sometimes out of ignorance. Each section has a quote (or collection of related quotes) followed by a "translation" of the quote (or a distillation of the essence of the argument, if you will) and then commentary on why this is an awful thing to say.

Challenges faced by asexual spectrum survivors of sexual violence (part 2)

By | 2018-04-12T00:50:24-04:00 July 30th, 2015|Categories: Education, For Activists, For Professionals, For Supporters|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

This series focuses on awful things people say to asexual spectrum survivors, sometimes out of spite, sometimes out of concern, and sometimes out of ignorance. Each section has a quote (or collection of related quotes) followed by a "translation" of the quote (or a distillation of the essence of the argument, if you will) and then commentary on why this is an awful thing to say.

It Gets Better: Chasing the ‘Before’

By | 2018-04-10T00:38:36-04:00 July 21st, 2015|Categories: Asexuality & Mental Health, By & For Ace Survivors, Personal Narratives|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Probably the worst part of it was how my grandparents urged me to go back to who I was 'before'. For me, there was no before. I didn't realize it then, but for many of the victims of repeated childhood sexual abuse, there is no 'before'. You know the one. Before the abuse. Before the pain. Before the brokenness. Now, when I think about who I was 'before', I realize that it wasn't as clear-cut as my grandparents and the psychologist made it out to be. Now, I realize that the 'before' they referred to was their own—namely, before they knew about the abuse. Today, I have a different 'before'. Before I decided to live for me. Before I forgave myself. Before I realized that my life is valid, no matter what.