Friday Question – Co-Feelings

Friday Question – Co-Feelings

By | 2016-04-01T16:16:41-04:00 January 29th, 2016|Categories: Questions|Tags: , , |0 Comments

The Friday Question: How it works

Every Friday we will pose a question for you all to discuss or privately consider. You can engage with it publicly here on the RFAS blog, or you can join our forum (details below) for a more private discussion. You can write it down to think about later, journal about it, or bring it in to a therapy session with you.

If you would like to volunteer to become a moderator and host future Questions, please email us at—or join our forum and post in the moderator volunteer thread. If you just have an idea for a future Question that you want to share, we have a brainstorming topic on our forum.

Something to Ponder Today

Humans are largely complicated. Our lives are not always as simple as we sometimes make them sound. We are not robots who go to school, go to work, walk the dog, follow the same routine and have the same relationships and conversations every day. We can be emotional because we are evolving; we can also be emotional when we are stagnant. A lot of things happen in a single day, we make a lot of decisions whether we realize it or not. Every second that we are doing something (or nothing) we should hopefully have a choice about whether we want to continue doing that thing or stop the thing. Point being, our feelings often play an important role in the decisions we make and the things we do and how we feel about doing them. It’s important to feel in control of these feelings, or at least recognize what they are, and what we can do while we are feeling certain ways. It’s important to recognize that the multitude of things we have feelings about, and the multitude of feelings we can have, can be confusing.

Do you ever feel like you have to limit yourself to one emotion? Why?

  • How do you deal with feeling multiple things at once?
  • How do you remind yourself this is okay?
  • What feelings do you normally feel at the same time?
  • Do you feel several negative emotions, or also some positive? Are they conflicting? (ex. sad/happy, shame/pride)
  • Is there a point at which multiple feelings become overwhelming? How many feelings, or which ones?
  • Can you narrow it down to one feeling to focus on? How?
  • What can you do (and not do) with different emotions? Are you more productive or creative when you feel certain ways? What do you feel prevented from doing?
  • Do you ever have transitions of feelings you don’t expect?

You don’t have to answer every (or any!) question, of course. These are just different ways to approach the topic which might be helpful to consider. You can share as much or as little as you like.

On the Forum

Please note that we are still working things out in the forum, especially technical issues. We are gradually letting people in now who are not moderators or volunteers, but it can basically be considered “in beta” for now. So if you do join, please excuse our forum being a bit of a mess while we get everything tested. There may also be a little bit of a wait time for sending out invites.

Here are a couple of things you should know about posting to the forum:

  • All posts are private, and can only be viewed by members
  • It is against forum rules to discuss any personal stories shared on the forum with anyone who is not a member without permission of the person who shared it
  • You can post as anonymous, once you are a member

The Spoiler Tag

You can hide especially triggering details behind a spoiler tag—which also works in blog comments. Here’s an example:

[spoiler title=’Triggering stuff’ collapse_link=’true’]Explicit/triggering material would go here.[/spoiler]

To make one, just type…

[ spoiler ] ... [ /spoiler ]

…without the spaces. I hope that this helps everyone safely navigate this conversation.

About the Author:

Bethany is an ace survivor who lives in Minnesota and studies gerontology. She has published feminist nonfiction work in online literary magazines, and she also posts writing prompts for assault survivors at

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