I had no other way to frame my experiences but to think that it was all caused by the trauma - I even feared I might be traumatised before I remembered anything, simply because I didn’t know my aro-aceness could have been “caused” by anything else.
The thing that is always going to kill me about what happened to me is that I did everything “right.”
I’m a “bad” rape victim. A Model Rape Survivor doesn’t know her attacker. My rapist is essentially a stranger to me, but that night was not the first time I had met him. She is dressed modestly and cannot be held responsible due to those clothing choices. I wore one of my shortest dresses and no bra when I walked into his apartment. She’s virginal and chaste, only doing the appropriate sexual things with appropriate people. I considered myself a virgin at the time, though I’m sure other people might disagree, but I’d gone to his place to mess around in the first place.
